|
Promoting A Basic Tool for Building Human Synergies
[Poem
developed for "Sanib-Sinag" posters to be displayed at all
"Chosen" sites and other watering holes and areas where people
congregate. It got to be included as the fifth among the "Seven
Flames for Holistic Synergies" in 2000.]
Mutual
Growth in Earnest Conversations
We
are forming new ethics, building
a healthy new culture,
For
earnest
human conversations, that
would really nurture,
By
speaking our truth quietly and clearly, with
honest, humility
And
listening to others with genuine respect, not
generosity.
Thus,
we Share
the Light of Wisdom carried by
separate rays
As
reflected by the unique mirrors of
our personal experiences,
Rays
reflecting the same Great Light of
Truth.
We
seek to enjoy, as we rarely ever do,
our
many commonalities,
And
seek to be mutually enriched by our
dynamic diversities;
Earnest
human conversations have no room for
ego contests,
For
semantics, sarcasm, debates, or
single-expert lectures.
Thus,
earnest human conversations produce
only winners
From
lively synergies of minds and hearts, of
all, for all.
Let's
all be happily shown that we all have
happily shone!
Let's
"Sanib-Sinag"
anytime, anywhere, even
on the phone!
And
marvel how much we all shall
have grown!
Additional Articles on the
Subject
Thinking,
Talking in Honest Humility
THERE
ARE three kinds of views, we've been told: "my view, your view, and
the valid one."
That is just to remind debaters or "mind gladiators"
that they can both be wrong.
Of course, they can both be right, and usually they both are at
least partly right, with each one furiously refuting what the other one
is not saying, and with
both engaged more in a battle of egos than in a contest of ideas,
especially if there is a crowding audience to impress.
It's
all right for debating clubs to behave this way in formally-declared
competitions, where each contestant openly eyes a trophy or medal not
really for having the best ideas but more for logical thinking, mental
alertness, full-bodied articulations and clever use of psychological
dirty tricks. It's not all right when the pattern of the passionate
mental boxing gets dragged into what should be, or at least what starts
out to be, an earnest human conversation.
Minus
that kind of competitive passion, everyone in conversation can afford to
remind oneself of the possibility of being utterly wrong. Minus the
pressure to immediately prepare an answer that would score against the
opponent's still ongoing statement, all are afforded the
chance to really listen to one another's ongoing statements until each
of these statements are completed.
Earnest
human conversations are held by people who come together to share
knowledge, opinions and feelings, with each one eager to learn from the
others, with each one conscious that he or she could not possibly have
beforehand all the truth there is to have on any topic, much less a
monopoly of truth. Each one would then be eager to have his or her own
truth checked, validated, enriched by other minds.
Then there would be a sharing of the individual rays of light,
from where the year-old project got its name.
People
who are most confident of the validity of their thoughts can very well
afford to speak their truth quietly.
They know that such validity cannot be enhanced, much less
proved, by decibels in forceful delivery. They are also confident that
the listener would sooner or later appreciate a valid calmly-delivered
point when enough experiences shall have been had to appreciate its
wisdom. It is the insecure who feel the pressure to sound so
"sure" of
their own points and even contemptuous of contrary views.
The
recent first year anniversary session of "Sanib-Sinag," the
freewheeling sharing of personal experiences and feelings on profound
matters (like lifepath setting, sense of fulfillment, attitudes toward
life and death, synergism, intellectual honesty,
etc.) gave rise to a call to spread the "Sanib-Sinag"
formula of earnest human conversations far beyond its regular schedule
and venue, to do "Sanib-Sinag" conversations everytime
everywhere.
The
mind is
said to be like an umbrella; it only works when it is open. If we are
all thinking and talking with honest humility, that's the only
time we can really talk and think.
What do you think? Let's talk it over…
(This
was written by volunteer editor Ding
Reyes for the early
May 2000 issue of Sparks
and Reflections the
now-defunct fortnightly newsletter of Earthlite at C.O.D. in Cubao,
Quezon City. Sanib-Sinag
(Live) was then being done every Saturday afternoon, specifically at the
Geo-Cafe organic foods restaurant. Weekly sharing sessions
continue to be held at Earthlite on Saturday afternoons led by Sammy del
Rosario.)
'S.
Intercourse' for All
By
Ding Reyes
THIS
ARTICLE BEGINS with a surprise quiz:
Give me a four-letter mono-syllabic word which ends in the letter
"k" and means "intercourse."
No, not that, although your instant answer might be revealing a
one-track mind.
Okay, here's a clue: the word means "s. intercourse"
No! Not that, I've said!
It means s---al intercourse. Sinabi nang hindi yun, eh!
Final clue: it does NOT start with an F.
Give up?
It's talk.
Talk is a form of interpersonal social intercourse.
In talking there is interpenetration not merely of bodies but of
minds, even of souls.
However,
the word "talk" has been used also as a synonym of lecture.
That meaning is limited to the sense of "talking to"
and leaves out the mutuality of exchange carried by the sense of
"talking with." Worse still is the phrase
"talking before and audience" because it merely places the
speaker in front of an audience and he may engage in eloquent soliliquy
for all everybody else cared. (Remember that pair of
lines from Simon and Garfunkel's The
Sound of Silence?)
There is also that cynical remark "Talk is cheap" This
refers to words that are quite loosely spoken but are not matched by
convincing and consequential action.
So
why don't we just use
the word "conversation," instead?
Earnest human conversations are what we have been holding every
Saturday afternoon in one Geo-Café table or another here at Earthlite.
That project, dubbed "Sanib-Sinag" has recently held
its anniversary session and is now the subject of a challenge. The
SanibLakas ng Taongbayan Foundation, convenor and facilitator of the
weekly sessions that would continue indefinitely in this same venue, is
challenging all who have really imbibed the spirit and formula of "Sanib-Sinag"
to start doing it with family and friends anytime anywhere.
Even in phone conversations!
It
may therefore be good to summarize such spirit and formula in short and
sharp terms so that the essence would not fade out as the project's
ripples grow bigger and bigger outward.
The
spirit of Sanib-Sinag: earnest sharing of the individuals' rays of
light, in the quest for the bigger truth on matters of deeper
consequence on the attitudes and overall enlightenment of the persons
who join in such conversation.
Each one is afforded the chance to hear out different views based
on sharings and to be accorded respect in the right of each one to
freely choose which ones of the ideas to adopt, if any. Diversity in
views and bases of views is an enriching and dynamic element that is
appreciated and not "solved" or tolerated. "Sanib-Sinag"
calls for a synergy, not a contest, of distinct rays of light reflecting
the same Great Light of Truth as uniquely as their respective life
experiences are unique, and everyone gets enriched by al the learnings
to be had.
Issues
are not to be resolved in this particular kind of
conversations,
and neither are practical decisions to be collectively made.
Sanib-Sinag just provides each participant the chance to hear more and
more angles, options and points of attention, and the chance to be heard
out with fully accorded respect. As the great anonymous classic Desiderata reminds each of us: "Speak your truth quietly and
clearly, and listen to others; even the dull and the ignorant, they too
have their story."
And
this learning is focused on attitudes and patterns of thinking of each
one (whether these be positive or negative; empowering or disempowering;
unity-prone or separative), that's why the topics are usually profound.
We generally do not have to be encouraged to talk endlessly about
petty things because that sort of behavior, including the enjoymewnt of
an endless series of jokes about anything and everything, has become one
of our favorite pastimes. Neither do we have to be encouraged or
challenged to hold problem-solving meetings.
But then, those are conversations of another kind.
The
formula of Sanib-Sinag includes some categorical and inviolable
ground rules: purely personal sharing, no lectures, no debates, no group
resolutions, no fees, and no mandatory inclusions or exclusions on
account of membership or non-membership in any organization.
This welcomes even members of debating clubs as long as they can
control the habit of debating, and welcomes teachers for as long as they
don't invoke any authority source or invoke any real or imagined
superiority and proceed to teach conspicuously.
It should be
a sharing of personal views, personal experiences and personal
feelings without any implication whatsoever that these are universally
valid.
If one's own views coincide with those of an expert or a great
thinker, so be it; that fact doesn't count at all in personal sharings
and it cannot prove anything. We prohibit lectures and debates because
we seek to make the participants in "Sanib-Sinag"
conversations really interpenetrate and synergize in mind and spirit,
with not a single participant getting intimidated into silence by even
the most well-intentioned lecturer or debater. Desiderata
has told us to "avoid loud and aggressive persons (because)
they are vexations to the spirit."
These
three paragraphs above, or their equivalent, will be widely propagated.
These should be silently read by anyone participating in "Sanib-Sinag"
before and after every such participation, and all participants are
asked to help one another keep faithful to these points or else to
refrain from using the name "Sanib-Sinag." After all,
"Sanib-Sinag" refers only to a very specific kind of
conversation.
"Sanib-Sinag"
would be facilitated best by anyone who deserves to be called a "synergizer."
A "synergizer" is a person who lives and exemplifies the
principle of synergism in her or his day-to-day behavior, by having the
following attributes:
1.
strong personal commitment, sense of responsibility, and sense of
efficiency relative to any tasks given and accepted;
2.
continuing development and sharing of individual skills and
knowledge needed for better effectiveness in the performance of such
tasks,
3.
readiness to be a team player and to maximize synergy in all
facets for any or all positive efforts.
4.
continuing development and application of readiness and ability
to unite, network, cooperate and/or team-up with other entities
including, and perhaps more so, those who are different in approaches,
styles, priorities, capabilities, etc., continuing development and
application of readiness and ability to act as a living bridge for
networking, cooperation and team-ups among diverse groups.
Of
course, anyone in a "Sanib-Sinag" conversation session must
bear in mind the project's motto: "Let us enjoy our commonalities
and be enriched by our diversities."
We
have issued a challenge for the wide dissemination of the "Sanib-Sinag"
sub-culture. At the same time, we have been challenged to speak our
truth very clearly about this challenge.
We have done our best effort on this second part.
The next move is yours.
(This
article was written by volunteer editor Ding
Reyes for the early-May2000
issue of Sparks
and Reflections the
now-defunct fortnightly newsletter of Earthlite at C.O.D. in Cubao,
Quezon City. Sanib-Sinag
(Live) was then being done every Saturday afternoon, specifically at the
Geo-Cafe organic foods restaurant. Weekly sharing sessions
continue to be held at Earthlite on Saturday afternoons led by Sammy del
Rosario.)
|
